What Michelle Obama learned from marriage counseling with Barack Obama

Barack and Michelle Obama are known for the sweet and romantic exchanges on social media. But even the loving former First Couple can’t escape the “tough times” every relationship has to go through.

As surprising as this may sound, Barack and Michelle Obama actually underwent couple therapy at some point in the marriage. This was revealed by Mrs. Obama herself who admitted that marriage counseling helped them work through tough times as she also acknowledged that raising a family is challenging, Daily Mail reported.

It happened after the birth of their two daughters. “Sometimes you need an objective person to just hear you out,” Michelle Obama told Oprah Winfrey in front of a crowd of 15,000 during a segment of Oprah’s “2020 Vision: Your Life in Focus Tour with WW” held at Barclays Center in Brooklyn, New York.

One of the best lessons Michelle learned from counseling is about happiness within marriage. “It taught me that I was responsible for my own happiness,” the former First Lady said. “I didn't marry Barack for him to make me happy. No one can make me happy.”

She also learned that it was likewise important for her to pursue her own personal goals even while married to Barack. “If I'm going to show up equal in this partnership, I have to be able to make myself happy and so I had to stop focusing on what he wasn't doing and start thinking about how to carve out the life that I wanted for myself, with or without Barack,” Michelle said.

“The more I succeeded in defining myself for myself, the better I was in my partnership,” the former FLOTUS added.

Disagreements are unavoidable but Michelle said they survived because their friendship was the core in their relationship. “We went through a tough time, we did some hard things together,” she said. “But now we're out on the other end and I can look at him and I still recognize my husband. He's still the man I fell in love with.”

Mrs. Obama has a message for young people who are contemplating marriage. “And this is what I keep trying to tell young people,” she explained. “Marriage is hard and raising a family together is a hard thing. It takes a toll.'